It's been a year...

One year ago today, 3/17/2018, our lives would forever change, we just didn't know yet.  Our adopted son, J, had been living at a residential treatment center since August of 2017 for his behavior. On this day, we picked J up, it was his therapy travel visit. We took J shopping, went to Applebee's for lunch, got him a hair cut, and took J out to our property to see the new place. We, J's parents and his therapist, thought seeing our new home would motivate J.

As we arrived to our home, J didn't seem interested in being there. His dad and I showed him the house, and what would his room. J just shrugged his shoulders. J's adopted siblings and biological sister were outside. Big brother H took the girls outside, they all felt uncomfortable around J. J's behavior could be extreme to say the least, no one could understand what's it like to live with a child with early childhood trauma, unless you have a child like J. All our classes and books that we took and read, to prepare for our adoption, could never compare to reality. J was only at our home for less an hour, 30 to 40 minutes. J's biological sister S, was anxious to be around him, her stomach was in knots; their relationship stems from trauma bonding, but no therapist could explain that to me when he was living with us. G didn't even say hello, but I would understand the "why", by the end of March. J was never alone with anyone, I was his shadow; of course, he didn't like that.

As we took J back to the residential treatment center, J stayed quiet all the way to the center. It was actual nice, usually J is rude, argumentative, and hyper.  My husband and I talked about how we were going to enjoy back yard BBQ's, outdoor movies, gardening, and raising small farm animals (chickens, goats, ducks, rabbits, and hogs). As we pulled up, J hop out of the burby, and was ready to be back at the center. J was never really about closeness with us, unless it was something he could gain from it; power, control, and manipulation at this early age in life. Throughout other blogs, I will explain J's behavior.